


Our Secret Identities

by Staalone



Category: South Park
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Superheroes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26261980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Staalone/pseuds/Staalone
Summary: Eric Cartman is now 16 and one of the two remaining Superheroes in town.One night after stopping a robbery revelations are made and he gets more than he bargained for when he gets cornered by Mysterion.‐-----------Aged up Vigilantes!AUMysterion X The Coon
Relationships: Eric Cartman/Kenny McCormick
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	Our Secret Identities

It was a calm night in the mountain city of South Park, something out of the norm for the small town. The cold night air burned the Coon's exposed lower face, making the large teen shiver.

He had just beaten up a burglar who was in the process of breaking into a jewelry store.

The fact that he still used his super hero alias at sixteen years old might have been odd and childish to some, all his childhood friends had dropped that soon enough, but Eric decided he'd put all he got into it.

As he got older, he started training, and now he could easily hold his own in a brawl. He was still on the heavy side, but as he got taller the weight spread. He was no superhero though, not like that bastard Mysterion, the only other hero in town with actual unlimited respawns, the asshole.

Every time he sees him Eric's blood boils, not helped by the fact that he still had no idea who was behind that stupid hoodie. He swears though, one day he'll catch that bastard and-

Eric was suddenly startled when someone pushed him against the alley's cold vrick wall.

Mysterion was now holding him there, kinda surprising given the weight and height difference. He was looking, trying not to let their height difference bother him again, the darkness of the night making it harder to see the hero's blue eyes in the cramped alley.

"What the fuck are you doing, jackass?!" Eric shouted in a deep voice, the one he used whenever hebtried to preserve his secret identity.

Mysterion didn't bother to answer, resorting instead to just tip toe andp plant a kiss on the other's lips, which proved effective in quickly shutting up the burly superhero. After a few seconds he seemed to get back to his senses as he pushed the smaller vigilante away, wiping some drool from the corner of his mouth.

"The hell was that for?" He asked, half breathless. 

Mysterion grinned childishly 

"I couldn't wait to do that to you" He was also using his superhero voice

"What the fuck?!" 

"Just relax" he said as he once again tip toes, reaching for the other's lips just to be stopped by a big hand on his chest.

"Listen, I know I'm hot and all, and people can't control their... "urges" in my presence, but I have a boyfriend, so..."

He trailed off looking to the ground. It took a moment for what he said to click in the immortal superhero's head

"What?" He asked, incredulous 

"Yeah, and I'm not looking for-"

"Eric, what the fuck?"

The Coon's eyes widened

"Eric? Who's that?" He asked, looking away

"Are you for real?"

"Look, I don't know who that Eric dude is, but he sounds cool... and, as I was saying, I'm currently dating, and not looking for any side flings so-"

"What the hell, Cartman" 

He yelled, now in his normal, high pitched voice, hoping the other would recognize it.

"Who's that?"

"Are you retarded, fatass?"

"AYE! Who the hell are you calling-"

"It's me, dumbass!" He said as he removed his mask and hood

"What the hell?! Ken?" He gasped

"Fucking took you long enough"

"Since when are you Mysterion, dickbag?!"

"Since ever, you idiot! I"

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me!? I'm your boyfriend, and as your boyfriend I have the right to know if my airheaded boyfriend is running around playing super-"

He was shushed with another quick kiss, the blond boy pulling away before his fat boyfriend could react, grinning

"I didn't think I had to, since we've been doing this since we were kids! But..." He trails a finger down the other's chest. "You're right, you ARE my boyfriend, so it's your job to take care of me"

His voice was lower now, seductive, tip toeing to get face to face with the other as he guided his hands to rest on Cartman's shoulders

The fat boy smirked, snaking his clawed hands to his boyfriend's hips

"Well... I guess it is" He brought their lips together again, their eyes closing as they enjoyed each other, the beaten up criminal laying forgotten on the dark alley.

Kenny called the police to the scene from his flip phone, squealing as hes hoisted into Eric's broad shoulder.

As he's carried towards the other's house, all he could think about was that South Park could survive one night without their on call heroes.

Or even two, because if he had it his way tonight, the blond was sure to be walking with at least a limp the morning after.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Don't hesitate in leaving a comment :)
> 
> I have this headcanon where Kenny is super goofy and head over heels for Eric, who in turn does his best as a bf to the blond.


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